Setting up your merchant account... frustration is just part of the process

A recent experience (with Canadian merchant accounts) has led me to believe that it is important to apply to 2 separate merchant account providers, using different gateways, in order to minimize the potential delay caused by a lack of transparency in the process.

Responses like "You are approved... if you agree to allow us to take $10,000 and hang on to it indefinitely, until the point when you close your account. Did I mention that we will not even pay you interest on the money? Silly us."

The fact that every single Canadian merchant account that I have been involved in the setup of has had completely different requirements, even when using the same gateways, leads me to believe that there is a lot wiggle room on requirements, and, depending on the specific individual that you are dealing with, you could have no problems getting setup. On the other hand, you could spend the next 6 months trying to accommodate each bizarre demand as they come up, such as: "Yes, we have processed your paperwork. Now all we need is for you to sign an agreement stating that you will never move to another provider"; or "Yes, thank you for the business plan, it's the best plan we have ever read. You are our ideal merchant. Now what we need to get your merchant account setup is for you to open a company in the US, so that you can accept US dollars"; or my favorite one yet: "Get your supplier to sign this document so that they will be responsible for paying us for any charge-backs for as long as your companies shall exist."

Yes, you read that last one right.

I would have less of an issue with these demands (except for the supplier guarantor, which I take grave exception to), if they were applied consistently, with transparency, so that a company would know what to expect in advance. The fact that I still cannot tell my customers what will be required of them in the process to begin accepting credit card payments online, in spite of having helped with this process many times, tells me that there is something wrong with the system.

Apparently usury and racketeering are alive and well, and are also just 'part of the process'.